Flying Wings

I dragged myself to yoga at 6am today. Knowing that I’d having to sweat out the salty Thai beef salad & beer I consumed the night before. I noticed this very fit & attractive girl in the row in front of me. She had a golden tan & wore short-shorts. I’m mean REALLY short. Like coochie-line-it's-a-good-thing-I-waxed short. Anyway, I was jealous since my MD recently told me that I was Vitamin D deficient. I’ve only been in Seattle for 9 months!

She was also very lithe & flexible. Meantime I’m still face-planting while in side-crow. Then we were all told to Virabhadrasana II (standing split). That’s when I knew there was a GOD. I saw the wings of her panty liner.

One male with a side of neuter

Well Ladies…I have quickly discovered the men of Seattle are neither shy nor coy, they’ve been chemically castrated by the glut of anti-depressants & bad beer. Add seasonal affective disorder, we officially have a bunch of bearded, asexual eunuchs playing one too many online games & cycling the Cascades. I think I’m going need more batteries.

What were you thinking?

Yes, if you do get into the guy's 911 & go to his house, either way you're getting fu*ked.

Does eHarmony give refunds?

I must be completely undate-able. My profile says "looking for hetro male with good hygiene and likes the theater". I guess clean, straight & cultured must be mutual exclusive.

If you pay for dinner, you willl get lucky.

No modern woman in her right mind would allow a date to pay for everything unless she was sure HE was getting lucky. Ladies start bringing your wallets/pocketbooks to dates. Don't be a slag.

Fixin' to get ready

prelude to a blog.